A Fireside Chat with Mandy Lozano

Pro Road Racer, Model, Shoe Fiend
So... K-man had an opportunity to sit down with the famous 5 time PEZ victim, model and ex-OBRA-ite. After talking to cows, Mandy left the green pastures of Oregon for the hot and sticky South. Mandy, a former resident of Portland and Southern Oregon rides for Team TARGETRAINING.

The picture below is of her first OBRA race ever. notice:

Picture by the awesome, goddess, Cheryl Wilson
-triple chainring gt bicycle with shimano 600 gruppo. approx weight = 25 lbs
-hand-me-down toe covers over $99 mountain bike shoes
-race number pinned on (?) left leg
-$5 k-mart shades. it ain't sunny, honey
-squeaky bunny on handlebars
-dropped but smiling

After that picture- Mandy came back the next year and won the pro 1,2 field sprint for second place.

So Mandy- thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to sit down with K-Man and my fellow co-horts Miffy and Kiffy.

K-man: So Mandy, where were you born?
M-girl: Los Gatos, CA. Median home price $1.1 million. Puke.

Kiffy: How about your favorite band?
M-girl: You are askin me to pick ONE? Craziness. Let’s start with: William Walter & Co, David Gray, Cake, White Stripes, and Ray LaMontagne

cheap lettuce unworthy of Miffy and Kiffy

Miffy: How about your favorite food? You get bonus points if you mention food pellets, lettuce or hay.
M-girl: Anything I make or my mother makes. I will brag about my cooking skillz. I rock. I work magic with vegetables. And baked goods (done a few wedding cakes). And steak. I loooooooove steak. Cooked very rare, thank you.
Miffy: No bonus points for you.

Kiffy: Favorite color? Green? Like green peppers or hay or lettuce or our pellets? Hmm??
M-girl: Green. Inevitably, when clothes-shopping, I pick out something green. Hippie that I am.
Kiffy: Bonus points!
Miffy: No bonus points.
Kiffy: Yes bonus points you moron.
K-man: Cut it you two.
Miffy & Kiffy: Ooookay.

K-man: You look, umm... long in femur there M-girl, how tall are you?
M-girl: 5’8”

K-man: Rumor has it that you have more shoes in your closet than Imelda Marcos. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
M-girl: Are you kidding? A million. Mostly sexy-yet-corporate types. I refuse to play the “I’m the hottest one in the office” game, but I will win the “I’m the tallest one in the office” game.

Decisions, decisions.
K-man: As a follow-up, do you have a favorite pair?
M-girl: We are currently at a stalemate. (see pic) Between a pair of brown knee-high crocodile Linda Allard by Ellen Tracy spike-toe boots; and some smoking hot brown patent leather peep-toe wedge heels I bought for $15 in El Salvador

Miffy: Everyone has hobbies. We like to eat, sleep and make noise. What do you like to do when you're not riding and why?
M-girl: Cook my brains out (but not cook my brains, actually). Catch up on the reading I missed over the past few years. Fantasize about the size of my corner office when I get out of business school. Create stuff: lock me in a room with some duct tape, bubble gum, and an old Vogue magazine and I can redesign your entire house

K-man: Sources tell me that you've been accepted to business school. How's that going?
M-girl: Since you’re the 45th person to ask me TODAY, I’ll give my usual reply: I am not in business school yet. I was admitted at the University of Virginia MBA program for the Fall of 2006, but deferred my admission until Fall 2007 in favor of racing my bike for another season and taking my bank account balance down to a nice round number. Like $0.

Mandy's childhood friends.
Kiffy: You grew up on a cattle ranch in Southern Oregon. That must mean that you spent lots of time with cattle. Did you talk to them? I mean K-man talks to us a lot. He's kinda boring though.
M-girl: Hell yes. Especially because my friends never came over because we didn’t have 1) television 2) electricity 3) sugar

Miffy: What did you talk about? Did they say anything profound? We tell K-man to shut up sometimes because he doesn't talk about lettuce.
M-girl: Mostly they burped. You would too if you had that many stomachs. But sometimes I feel that they looked at me with compassion in their heavily-lashed brown eyes. Either that or they had just regurgitated some extra-tasty fescue.

Kiffy: What other animals did you have? Any guinea pigs? We're the best pets you can have you know.
M-girl: Kitties, of course. Horses. Cattle dogs. The occasional abandoned rooster. A cockatiel named Squakers.
Kiffy: Laaaaaaammmeeee.

Miffy: Better than humans. On the whole range they aren't as smart as us but they're ok. I bet they gave you some cycling advice. We always tell K-man to poop before races. It makes you lighter.
M-girl: They mostly told me to suck it up. They promised cuddles if I survived my training rides. What am I talking about? I haven’t been bikin that long. Sadly, the ranch animals were not part of my social circle when I discovered this blessed two-wheeled sport. So I’m sure I could return to the ranch and get loads of advice. Epecially from the know-it-all Border Collie, Minnie.

K-man: You mentioned something about immunizing cattle- sounds sorta interesting. How do you do it?
M-girl: Depends on the shot. For an intra-dermal, you grab a chunk of skin on their neck (thicker skin, hurts less) and jab the needle into the skin. If it’s an intra-muscular shot, you stick it right in their shoulder or rump. I am convinced that I survived my recent trip to El Salvador without sickness because there were plenty of intra-dermal shots administered to myself on accident.

K-man: What in the world possessed you to leave Oregon?
M-girl: Which time? #1: college at the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma. #2, post-college, two years in the Humboldt nation. #3 in 2003 Jake was accepted at North Carolina State University for his PhD in Economics, so we packed up the Volvo and moved to Raleigh.

K-man: Do you miss anything about our fantabulous state?
M-girl: The courteous (read: slow) drivers, beautiful spaces, Burgerville’s Sweet Potato Fries and River City Bicycles. Oh, and the microbrews.

Miffy: Will you return?
M-girl: Not a chance. Sorry.
Miffy: Bah.

K-man: So why isn't it "just about having good hair" as it says on your bloggity blog? Isn't having good hair everything?
M-girl: You’re right. It is. Especially when it’s completely genetic and you did nothing to deserve it (or the long femurs). I guess I just lucked out with good parents.

Kiffy: You say you're such a good cook- what can you make that would meet with Miffy and Kiffy's seal of good guinea approval? What goes in it?
M-girl: MandyLuv is an ingredient that I’ve developed by working closely with Tyler Florence. Oh wait, he and I just make out. Nevermind…but the MandyLuv is present in everything I do. My favorite dinner dish I make is braised pork chops with dates, apricots and shallots or Ribollita (Tuscan Bean Soup). My favorite dessert is any type of MandyCookie. I got so out of hand once that my coach would write “no baking” in my training programs because I’d stay up all night getting my Martha on. Everything is so tasty because I use the freshest ingredients possible and coax out the flavors by through roasting, seasoning, cooking WITHOUT nonstick pans, and generally aligning my chakras with those of the ingredients. Just kidding…but I do pick up on their vibes.

K-man: As a model and a Pez victim, I bet you've been subject to some pretty awful pick up lines. What's the absolute worst line you've ever received?
M-girl: ”Are you from Nashville, because you’re the only Ten-I-See.” Or, “Nice shoes. Wanna f&#%?”


K-man: Do you have any nominations for the best looking OBRA (current or former) riders?
M-girl: Duh: Shannan Whitlatch and Marjon Marik-Walrod. Boys: Johnny Walrod, Jake Brimlow or any of the Gentle Lovers in a Speedo.

Riding

K-man: How long have you been riding?
M-girl: I took my first bike tour with my mom on a Gary Fisher Hoo Koo E Koo with road slicks in 1999. I was such a Fred. I dabbled for a few years after, but preferred running for is unfettered grace and simplicity. I hit it hard when I moved to North Carolina and 2004 was my first year racing with any measure of seriousness.

K-man: What gave you the cycling disease? I mean, it's a pretty bad habit that can get quite expensive quite quickly.
M-girl: Moving in next door to Marjon Marik and John Walrod. With those two wads of cool hotness, how could I not suit up in a chamois?


K-man: Going pro is pretty intense- and you have to be damn strong. What made you decide to go pro?
M-girl: I did a little ROI calculation and figured that if I was photographed (and thereby posted on moderately-well known cycling websites) smiling on a podium, my parents’ $4000 investment in my braces (and headgear) would pay off for them. I think that I hit the magic ROI number of “times photographed smiling (though not on the podium as much as I’d like)” a few years ago and the rest has just been gravy. However, I think I need a few more years of pro-dom to overcome the psychological damage done by mom & dad’s $4000 investment because I wore them in junior high and high school. I think that winning a few NRC races might do the trick. Now, about that…

K-man: Did you do anything in particular to become a professional cyclist?
M-girl: I was born a Lozano with long femurs. Oh, and poured my soul out onto the asphalt and bled through my eyes in races to get the results I needed. But it was the femurs, mostly.

K-man: What do you enjoy the most about being pro? Anything you don't like?
M-girl: It’s really cool all around. One fringe benefit is that it brings me one degree of separation closer to Ivan Basso. To survive, travel, and keep the love for training all while trying to make money is a challenge, but thankfully eBay is alive and well. The only drawback of being pro is the occasional stalker. Thankfully nobody is boiling my pets in my kitchen, but I’ve felt pretty invaded just the same.

Miffy: What's the worst thing you've ever eaten on a ride? I once accidentally ate something I wasn't supposed to. I didn't feel very well. How'd you feel after eating it? What did you do then?
M-girl: My stomach is made of steel (or perhaps aluminum), so nothing really bugs me on a ride. However, by the end of stage races I get a gag reflex when I suck down a GU. I want to inhale a can of Pringles instead, but race officials don’t like it as much when you “accidentally” drop an entire can of reconstituted-potato-food-starch chips.

K-man: What's the first thing you do after you finish a race? Down a coke?
M-girl: This sounds so cheezmo, but I try to find my teammates. Then I go to the VIP tent and eat the last of the buffalo wings.

K-man: How were the US Open Cycling Championships- they didn't cover the women which kinda sucked.
M-girl: Freakin rad. And only one championship, damnit. We woke up to snow, and Anna and I rubbed our hands together greedily, whispering “mmmm…cyclo-cross”. But the hour delay made the snow go away and we raced on a rather normal course. I was killin it on the downhills on my hot new Aegis carbon bike (custom-painted, thank you), and cornering like a demon. It was fun. We got 9, 8, and 11 against a good field.

K-man: How is racing in South America? Miffy and Kiffy have a very important question for you. You didn't have cuy while you were there did you?
M-girl: Sorry Miffy and Kiffy. I did. But not in El Salvador. I hiked the Inca Trail in June 2006 with my family, and we enjoyed a meal of cuy and alpaca when we finished. For the uninitiated, cuy is whole, roasted guinea pig. The only thing they remove is the fur. But I maintain that it’s part of the rite of passage. 1. Get your picture snapped with an alpaca or llama at Machu Picchu 2. Collapse in exhaustion for 4 hours 3. Eat the alpaca or its sibling for dinner 4. Eat a cuy the next day with an appetizer of the alpaca’s other sibling. (There, I think that will provoke PETA enough to spray-paint my car.) Oh, and racing in Central America was great. My fat ass was whipped into shape and I really bonded with my teammates. The heat and humidity were also the best thing ever. I am one in 3948500 I think who likes heat and humidity.
Miffy and Kiffy: We're turning our butts to you now.



K-man: As a racer, you sometimes run across the funniest things. I mean like solo tandem racers- with blow up dolls as their stoker. What's the funniest thing you've ever seen on a bike?
M-girl: Besides myself? 1. Carebear on a BMX at a ‘cross race 2. CycleOregon. The whole shebang. What a riot! 2000 of your best friends, communing in a tent city in the middle of Hell’s Half Acre, OR.

K-man: How did OBRA racing help you get to where you are now?
M-girl: Are you kidding?! It is directly responsible! 100%! If not for the supportive environment, awesome access to races (I could race every night of the week and ride my bike to all of ‘em!) and really hot pit boys, I would not be flyin pro these days. True story. And Candi Murray is the goddess of it all. She should be sainted (or knighted, not sure which)

K-man: Hold on.... Miffy and Kiffy are creating a ruckus.
M-girl: I figured they would. Roasted cuy is not a pretty sight, neither for us carnivores nor their brethren.

K-man: Ok... sorry. Where were we? Oh yeah. What do you think we can do to get more women racing?
M-girl: Keep on keepin on, I think. Candi set some great groundwork. Now, let’s give the women ownership of the growth. Network with other businesses in the athletic industry. Put women in places of influence and give them the tools to sell the sport. I led women’s rides at River City Bicycles. I had girlfriends who worked at bike shops. Spread the gospel of healthy athleticism. Women are the major purchasers in a home. Make it approachable and real for them. Show them that the girl next door can ride a bike; why not you?

K-man: I know you like kicking ass. If you could kick anyone's ass, whose would it be?
M-girl: Off the bike, I can’t tell you #1 or I’ll get sued. But #2 would definitely be…oh wait; I can’t slander him, either. Nevermind. I don’t wanna kick anybody’s ass. But ON the bike, that’s different. I want to beat everyone, all the time.

If you see a lump in her jersey, you now know what it is.

K-man: Best ride food, cold steak, garlic mashed potatoes or triple chocolate cake?
M-girl: Cattle rancher’s daughter says steak. The woman in me says chocolate cake. Mashed potatoes are for boys.

K-man: All the guys are wondering- what does the women's peloton do when they need to take a pee break? I mean it's easy for the guys, but is there one mass stop for all the women? Or do you all just hold it?
M-girl: We light up the afternoon with 75 moons on the side of the road. Ask Sean Murray. I remember traumatizing him during some OBRA stage race in 2003. Candi was a bit disappointed that the women’s peloton exposed themselves to her son. I don’t think he minded, though.

K-man: And finally.... what happened to the squeaky bunny that you had on your handlebars on your first race ever?
M-girl: Damn, I was hopin you wouldn’t ask. I think that some disadvantaged kid in Sanford, NC has it now. The bolts rusted on it (thank you, Rainshadow Effect) and it fell out of use. Plus, the bike I had it on definitely didn’t belong in the pro peloton.

K-man: Any advice to aspiring women riders?
M-girl: Just the fact that you’re riding, on a bicycle, in the fresh air, in a place where you have the freedom to choose; is wonderful! Enjoy it! You don’t have to compete to validate riding a bike. Around the neighborhood or around the world: just doing it is enough! For those aspiring to race - never get discouraged! I can’t tell you how many races I did where I got 2nd place. It’s really, really hard to win races. Focus on growing with each race. Learn from every opportunity. Find trusted advisors and watch them. Listen to them. Ask them questions…people in this sport know so much and are anxious to share the love! Oh, and get a proper bike fit.

K-man: In your own words, summarize in less than 500 words, who is Mandy Lozano and how many legs have you ripped out of their sockets? (please be as accurate as possible)
M-girl: Who I am in 500 words is far less important (or impressive) than the sheer quantity of legs I have ripped from their sockets. I am proud to say, however, that I’m pretty sure I’ve never knowingly beat up on anyone with artificial joints. But, when Floyd makes his comeback after surgery, he’s first on my list to throw down with. That’s one artificial hip I’d like to ride off my wheel. Chances of that happening = 0 without me getting a 34-mile headstart. Okay, regarding the exact number you requested, I had to call my accountant. But he was in the Bahamas doing some “off-site creative contract work” so his secretary emailed his PDA and he got back to me just this evening with the quantity: 395,774. I know, it’s a lot! He also emailed me a ratio that tied that number to the number of male egos I’ve squashed with the size of my quads, and I was somewhere in the 47:9 range. Hey, you can’t make this stuff up.

Mandy, Ryan Trebon, Cara McCauley

K-man: Anything else you can think of... or anyone you'd like to give a shout out to?
M-girl:Lovey-lovey hug-hugs to all the OBRAfolk, of course! But this is not the Oscars, and I’m certainly not up for any awards except a close affiliation with the hottest legs in OBRA (they belong to Jake, not me.). So I’ll end by saying that all of us who love cycling have an obligation to help move our sport forward; out of the periphery and into the limelight. Share your love (appropriately) for cycling with everybody, and our sport will continue to grow and flourish! Don’t play the “I’m too cool” game! Talk to someone new on a group ride. Tell your co-workers how rad it is to commute by bike. Persuade your elected officials to improve bike advocacy and awareness…every little thing counts and we all make a difference! Oh, and vote for me in 2032! (Miffy & Kiffy will be my campaign managers.)

K-man: Thank you Mandy! And Pez Guys- you owe her a pair of socks.